Therapy for Men in
New York and California
Healthy masculinity means reconnecting to your emotions, the people you care about, and things that matter most to you
You’re a driven, intellectual, and successful man by most accounts. You’ve done well in your career and for the most part are happy with where you’re at, but something about it leaves you feeling unfulfilled and wanting more. In truth, work feels more like a function to be performed rather than something that actually lights you up.
No matter what level of accomplishment you reach in life it’s like the goal post keeps moving further away. You’ve never been good at savoring your successes for very long (if at all).
Yes work could be better, but where you’re really struggling the most is in your relationships.
While you’re actually a pretty sensitive guy who feels a lot, most people would never guess that about you because you rarely show that side of yourself to anyone.
It’s never felt very safe to open up emotionally or be vulnerable around others. You never had any (or very few) male role models for how to do this. Maybe you even had a parent who was an alcoholic or couldn’t manage their own emotions, so from an early age you took on the role of adult, forced to push aside your feelings and needs, in order to “suck it up” and care for or protect others.
Issues coming up for men may include:
Having a hard time opening up to partners, family, or friends about what’s really going on at an emotional level.
Feeling so beholden to the provider archetype that you feel useless, less valuable, and lost if you aren’t doing, fixing, or contributing in some way.
Struggles with depression and/or anxiety that may show up as racing heart and thoughts, low motivation and energy, feelings of guilt or shame, and increased irritability or anger.
Difficulty making decisions, poor concentration, low self-esteem or confidence.
Following a career path primarily for reasons related to money or status, yet feeling unfulfilled, stressed out, and stuck.
Feeling cut off from emotions or struggling to communicate them; becoming emotionally and/or socially withdrawn from others.
Feeling unsupported or misunderstood by your partner or family.
Longing for deeper relationships, both socially and romantically, but struggling to maintain them or effectively communicate your wants and needs.
Increased conflict with your partner or family, reacting quickly rather than responding with intention and thought, or becoming passive and shutting down.
Loss of interest in activities that previously brought joy or pleasure, your world feels like it’s shrinking down.
If you’re ready to shake off the feeling of existential dread that’s been lingering for too long and want to feel more connected to your partner, your sense of purpose, and yourself, therapy can help!
Therapy for men can help you:
Explore the unhelpful narratives, patterns, and behaviors playing out in your relationships and work that lead to feeling overwhelmed and stuck. We’ll break the cycles keeping you isolated and disconnected from yourself and those you care about. Go from feeling disconnected, frustrated, and lost to feeling more confident, comfortable with emotions, and more fulfilled in life.
While emotional exploration is at the heart of what I do, the men I work with appreciate my direct style that focuses on the practical and problem solving just as much as learning new skills like connecting to unheard parts of the self. Our work can help you uncover what’s at the root of your issues, working collaboratively to practice new ways of relating and communicating, while healing any unresolved past hurts.
Things we can work on:
Identifying and challenging the unhelpful narratives, archetypes, and beliefs that men are conditioned to fit into.
Explore the roots of poor relationships and relationship struggles, working to build healthier, more fulfilling and intimate ones.
Learning to get more in touch with the full range of emotions, comfortable feeling and expressing them as they arise.
Building a healthier sense of self-esteem, self-worth and self-value that’s not tied to what you do.
Becoming more comfortable opening up with others, asking for and receiving support.
Learning how to work through conflict and difficult conversations in healthy ways.
Clearer decision making, learning to respond rather than react, and take more risks in service of your goals.