Type A, high achieving, perfectionist, the ‘hardworking beta’…
What do they all have in common?
My guess is at least one of them might describe you to some degree.
Most of the time it shows up as an urge to ‘do-it-all’ and make sure you do it the best of your ability. Not only do you have super high expectations of yourself (which you can’t ever seem to live up to), but you’ve probably also spent a lot of your life making sure others see you as having it all together and the people in your life are happy first. King of the “I got this, don’t worry about it”, you’re great at helping everyone else solve their issues, but it’s hard to admit to anyone that you have any problems of your own… like ever.
How does it show up in day-to-day life?
It’s hard to sit still and do nothing, to-do lists and distractions are your friend. The constant cycle of thoughts, worries, and “what’s next?” are bordering on obsessive. Why? Because staying busy not only gives you a sense of focus and direction, but conveniently also helps you avoid dealing with those pesky emotions that live just below the surface. You know the ones I’m talking about: doubt, insecurity, uncertainty, fear, shame… Having to acknowledge, or even worse, face those uncomfortable emotions means risking the reality that maybe you really don’t have it all together. (But guess what? That’s OK!)
“I’m expected to always have my shit together”
“It’s never good enough”
“I should be able to handle this”
Probably run through your head often. Maybe you even tell yourself that the constant running dialogue keeps you going. Or does it just make you feel worse most of the time?
what has “doing it all” gotten you so far?
Most likely a good education and career, the job that sounds impressive to most, a marriage or relationship that initially made you really happy. But secretly you’re struggling, and having to keep your emotions under control makes a simple request from a coworker, friend, or partner feel like too much. Trying to live your life being “perfect”, making everyone else happy, working to keep things “under control” often leads down the same road, to: depression, anxiety, addiction, burnout, overwhelm, and isolation.
But the road doesn’t have to dead end there.
In fact the road to greater happiness, balance, joy, success and love only requires four key things…
Curiosity, Courage, Compassion and Connection.
That sounds a little too emotional doc. Can you just give me the steps?
Sure I can, and through our work together I will. But it’s also going to require you to take a leap of faith outside of your comfort zone and commitment to do the work. I know you just want the roadmap and quick fix answers, but guess what? What got you here, won’t get you where you want to be. I’m here to help you do things differently, so you can finally get a different outcome.
I bet your logical, rational, scientific, or skeptical brain is probably starting to shout... “Don’t listen to her! This is bullshit, we’re doing fine. Let’s go see what’s happening on Reddit…”
But before you hop out of here think about this…
We are only guaranteed this one life and one moment, the present moment.
It’s not about things being perfect or doing it right. It’s about being authentic, messy, and experimental with ourselves and life.
How much more time do you want to waste distracting away? Isn’t it time to create the life you truly want? Not the life society says you ‘should’ have. It’s time to invest in yourself in a whole new way and take off the mask.
I know I can give you the tools. I can walk with you down a new path. I can help you enjoy life on your terms, stressing less, trusting yourself more, and feeling freer and happier than you’ve ever felt.
But only you can take that first step.
Let’s put the bullshit aside that says you’re weak for asking for help and do a different kind of work. I’m here waiting, if you’re ready.
“Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you really need to do, in order to have what you want.”
- Margaret Young